THE LADY VANISHES
You fade away before my eyes –
not physically, you still look the same,
but what makes you You is vanishing
and I have to stand and watch you leave.
Words go missing on their route
from brain to mouth,
and sentences falter into silence
as you search for what to say,
now times and dates
have become too slippery to hold.
The silver fish of memories
have turned their tails and swum away.
You know that something’s wrong,
but don’t know what, and bang your fist
in mute frustration. Fear fills your eyes
until you forget, then all is calm.
You’ve become a child again;
I help you with your clothes,
and you make scenes in shops –
your life has shifted into reverse gear.
The record in your head
is set on eternal repeat;
you call me five times in a row
to tell me the same story.
Our names drift off like morning mist –
“Are you new?” you say one day,
mistaking me for staff,
the sentence slicing my heart.
“No, I’m your daughter,”
another family member mislaid.
You smile politely,
and nod in a parody of recognition.
You’re dead, and I can’t bury you.